Thursday, May 19, 2011

US government publishes zombie survival guide....

Zombie apocalypse survival guide published by US government 

A guide to surviving the impending zombie apocalypse has been helpfully published by America's Centre for Disease Control and Prevention. What do you mean, which zombie apocalypse? 

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zombie apocalypse guide AmericaNice zombies, pretty zombies, there there
In a blog post going by the fetching title Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse, the centre's assistant surgeon, General Ali Khan, lays out instructions on tackling the type of flesh-eating nasties seen in the likes of Night Of The Living Dead and Resident Evil.
zombie apocalypse guide AmericaBE PREPARED, people
'There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for,' reads the post. 'Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. 
'You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.'
An 'emergency kit' is the one thing everyone should have in their house, apparently, 'including things like water, food and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or, in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored)'.
The kit should also be stocked with medications, duct tape, a battery-powered radio, clothes, copies of important documents and first-aid supplies, take note.
zombie apocalypse guide AmericaEmergency kit: Zombie-battling essentials (Pic:
'Once you've made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan,' continues the blog post. 'This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your doorstep. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake or other emergency.'
A spokesperson from the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention has acknowledged to reporters that the zombie survival guide is 'kind of a tongue-in-cheek campaign', issued as a response to concerns about radiation following Japan's recent earthquake and tsunami.
Unsurprisingly, the blog post was a hit in the Twittersphere when news of its publication spread, with the site containing the guide crashing under the pressure of the hits. 
'There are so many people on the site now it’s crashed! The zombie attack has begun!' was how one witty Facebook fan put it. Damn you, Facebook fan, for taking the words right out of our mouths...

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